September 14-October 8, 2015: The Craziest Month Ever
That title pretty much sums it up.
The last half of September and first week of October were a whole lot of work, college applications, more work, more college applications, midnight snacks, caffeinated tea, going out of town, and getting very little sleep. But I made it! Leaving school on October 8, heading out into a long weekend and knowing I would get some good physical, mental, and emotional rest, was the best feeling. The month was long and hard, but it’s over now. Looking back, I think it grew me by not growing me, in a way.
When I finally got to take a step back from all the hecticness of application season, I saw the missed opportunities in that month. I could have leaned in: to community that supports me, to God who offers so much more peace and comfort than I can imagine, to my family who put up with my really crabby moods. But instead of putting more effort into quiet time with Jesus or family dinners when I was struggling, I ignored them. Certainly, there were good Sundays and an amazing church retreat where I grew a lot in my relationship with Jesus. But I didn’t learn so much during my time on the struggle bus as I did when I got off and saw that God was the Bus Driver all along, metaphorically speaking.
I’ve learned from this mistake. My tendency when things go wrong is to resort to my own strength and abilities, which is just such a terrible idea. It’s okay to not be pulled together all the time. It’s okay to need things; namely, people and God. By not tuning in to God and the good things around me, I missed out on a good chance to grow in this really busy September. Now, I’m hopeful that the next time a stressful or hectic season comes my way, I’ll remember this and remember to lean in and focus on faith. Life doesn’t have to be just making it through to Fridays and wishing for summers. Life can be so much more if we keep our eyes open and looking up during the crazy times. I’m hoping that the next crazy time, I’ll use this lesson to keep my eyes exactly where they need to be: on Jesus.
“So stop waiting for Fridays, and stop waiting for summers, and stop waiting for someone to fall in love with you, because those things will happen. But in the meantime, enjoy right now.”