It’s gotten to the point where my phone is autocorrecting God to Godfidence. This new phrase, given to me by my small group leader on a recent church retreat, has caught fire in my heart.
I’m naturally shy and self-conscious. Talking to strangers makes me nervous and sometimes panicky, even if I’m with other people that I know. I’m also a worrier who stresses about school and the future. I’ve been on the self-discovery train for most of June as I’ve read Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman, looking into myself and examining my behaviors, and I’ve realized these things. I’ve also realized that because I’m so afraid of talking to others and of general failure, my comfort zone is my number one priority.
God has used many things to show me this, including Grace for the Good Girl and the recent church retreat. One of the phrases that really stuck out to me from a message: “If you’re really a daughter of God, what do you have to lose?”
What do I have to lose? Not God’s love – I can’t lose that. Not His acceptance – I can’t lose that. Not Jesus’s grace and forgiveness – I can’t lose that. As I began to remember during this message that God is on my side and His love is legitimately unconditional, I felt His freeing power releasing me from worry. Afterward, I was able to socialize happily and without worry. I’m much less nervous about the upcoming school year. I’m feeling so at peace with the knowledge that I’m in the hands of the creator of the universe – I will be just fine. He’s got me.
I can talk to strangers, because I am confident that God loves me. I can survive three AP classes next year, because God gives me strength. I can do things that would normally make me panic, because I am covered by God’s grace. I am Godfident – in His plan, in His provision, in His grace, and in His love.
And Godfidence so far? It’s pretty amazing.